You're grounded...no fun allowed

Setting and maintaining consistent and appropriate consequences for behavior is a large part of parenting.  We want to teach our kids what behavior is acceptable, and what isn't.  We use these consequences to do this.  When we try to determine what consequences to set, we tend to look at the things that are enjoyable in our kids' lives.  No going out with friends, no cell phone, no internet, no TV, etc...  But, sometimes we may take this idea a bit too far by thinking if something is enjoyable or fun, it is automatically in the category of things that can be taken away as a consequence.  But, it's important to make a greater distinction than that.  For example, there may be enjoyable things in our kids' lives that also greatly contribute to the lessons and messages we are trying to convey to them.  Is it a good idea to take away something that is encouraging your child to be responsible, mature, generous, and confident; just because it also happens to be enjoyable?  These things could include church youth group activities, boy scouts, a mentoring relationship, and maybe even a sport or club.  These things among others tend to be fun, but also exist to teach our kids important life lessons, and contribute greatly to significant protective factors that help our kids become healthy adults.  Therefore, taking these things away for bad behavior might be about as logical as grounding a child from school for failing a math test. 

So, when deciding on potential consequences for children, it's important to look beyond the fun factor, and ask ourselves: "Does this activity encourage the very lessons I'm trying to teach by setting this consequence?"  If so, we may want to move on to another option.